Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
