Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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