elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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