You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
