Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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