Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
are you so shy because you have an std?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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