you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
