HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
