he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
