Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
