u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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