im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
