i always forget guys have bellybuttons
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
