Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
