I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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