Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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