you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
