i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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