We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
