When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
