I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
