Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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