He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
