I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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