Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
