I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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