Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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