yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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