ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
