No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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