this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
