he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
third nipple confirmed
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
