She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Welp...herpes.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
