I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
