I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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