Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
