well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
