STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i came on her dog
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
