if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
