i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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