you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
