I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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