Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
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