You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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