remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
