I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
