you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
