id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
