dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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