Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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