He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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