Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My bed smells like the plague
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize