i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
