Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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