Define "chronic" masturbator.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
