My nipple is on Facebook.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
