after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
