There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I think people are normalizing furries
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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