Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He kissed a someone with a penis
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
