Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
