Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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